Fowl Play & Rearmament: The Janesville Turkey Uprising & The Unthinkable Artillery Insertion | 476

This week on Hysteria 51, we’re serving up a double feature where nature chooses violence… and humanity chooses unhinged.

First: Janesville, Wisconsin is apparently living inside a Thanksgiving-themed action movie. A flock of wild turkeys has been chasing people, hassling a postal worker, blocking traffic, and generally running the neighborhood like feathery little HOA enforcers with anger issues. One local even caught the chaos on camera. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be offering peace and goodwill to all… while a bird the size of a small child sprints at you with murder in its eyes, welcome home.

Then we pivot from “street menace” to “please evacuate the entire building”: a man showed up at a hospital with a World War I artillery shell lodged in his rectum, prompting a hospital evacuation and a bomb squad response because, yes, it was reported as potentially live. Doctors had to remove it surgically, and everyone involved probably aged ten years in one evening. It’s the kind of headline that makes you whisper, “how” and then immediately decide you don’t actually want the answer.

So buckle up for an episode packed with weird news, small-town terror turkeys, and ER chaos so intense it came with its own security perimeter. If you like your comedy dark, your science nonexistent, and your survival instincts activated by poultry… this one’s for you.

Links & Resources
📌Jive Turkeys
📌Preparation H-Bomb

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